Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
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Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
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Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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