i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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