Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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