When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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