How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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