Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
