Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
