i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
