I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When are your genitals available?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
