I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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