Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
