Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
