I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
