We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
