Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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