24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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