Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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