Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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