Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
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