guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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