capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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