Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You made out with two different species that night
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
