it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize