How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
