He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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