For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
