i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
