It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
