so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
