I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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