one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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