forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
tell me about the fingering
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