u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
