I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The adults are the big ones right?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
