why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
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A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
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I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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