She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
