Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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