escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
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well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
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Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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