No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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