Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
