I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
he thought i was a dude.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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