So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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