He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
