For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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