Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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