I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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