I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
