im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
