i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
