Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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