And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize