I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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